Family + Amsterdam = FATTY

I love my brother. He is my best friend in the whole world. I love spending time with him, except when we are drinking with friends. He knows all my retarded moments and enjoys telling them. But still, I do the same, when I can. It's just that he has more ammo, I am much more retarded than he is.

So he has been here to visit for the week. We went to Amsterdam to do some relaxing. Had a great time, ate way too much food junk (too many space cakes). I made the comment that when i smoke I don't get the munchies....I am a huge liar. HUGE!!! In fact I gained all of the weight back that I had spent so much time loosing.

I have my 5K on Saturday and I just found out that my favorite people who got me into this run are not going. Quickly loosing interest, but I said I would do it and I know I can, so I will. It is not going to be easy, since I have all this weight back on and I have been smoking.

Tomorrow my brother goes home, and I have to get back to work. I am really going to have to buckle down. I have been saying that I need to do that for the past 2 weeks, I think. My words mean nothing. Though I did refuse to purge after a huge binge last night. I just sat there with it, as a punishment. I really can't start doing that again. It doesn't really help. It just becomes addictive, frustrating, and expensive. I just have to stop binging really.

I have 50 days to lose 30 lbs.
Mathematically, it can be done. So we will see what happens....